A Little Pain [ Taylor ]

[Sarah Harper]

WHO KNOWS HOW LONG I'VE BEEN AWAKE NOW



{the shadows on my wall don't sleep}


* * * * * * * * * *

Friday nights were always depressing as all hell.

Back then, they weren’t, though. When Sarah was younger, she’d spend those nights staying up late – or, as late as a little kid would be allowed – to play board games with her parents and her brother. Aunt Eleanor sometimes tagged along, which just doubled the fun. Eleanor would add her favorite puzzles and card games to the mix, thus giving it more variety. Sarah distinctly remembered having struggled with a Rubik’s cube for approximately half an hour before handing it over to her brother, who’d successfully solved it in a few minutes. They’d never owned a Playstation, or any other game console, but Sarah hadn’t really minded, because she enjoyed playing, and fooling around with her family.

Then, when her parents died and Eleanor took her and Taylor in, game nights never happened again. The rift between Sarah and her brother, which had been there for a while, just grew more pronounced. Sometimes, he consented to watch some mafia films, to eat pasta and stay up with her and Eleanor, but those nights were a rare treat. So, eventually, Friday nights became something between the two ladies of the house, where they’d watch Doctor Who and eat popcorn, or where they’d just… talk. About everything. About whatever crossed their minds. Sometimes they’d just have dinner in silence, pretty much enjoying their mutual company, silent and awkward as it might be. Now that Sarah thought about it more carefully, even back then, both of them refused to acknowledge the fact that the family was slowly, but surely, breaking apart.

And after Taylor left, those Friday nights never happened again.

Nowadays, Friday nights were just like any other, except that they were not. Not to her, at least. Sarah’s mind always ended up swirling with memories of those good old days where she actually felt like she had a family. Sometimes, the memories hurt so much that she ended up crying herself to sleep. That was embarrassing to think about, let alone admit. But the feel of loneliness that plagued her when she remembered the old times was overwhelming. She had no one left: her brother was gone, her parents had died, and she couldn’t really trust her friends… not because she didn’t want to, but because she could only tell them so much about her life. She could never tell them about being a protettore, about the supernatural. She would never truly feel as attached to them as she should, because she’d never be able to be completely honest with them. So, in most senses of the word, Sarah was alone. Sure, she still had Eleanor. But, despite her Aunt might not say it out loud, she was lonely, too. She had never truly stopped mourning the loss of her brother, Sarah’s father. And she couldn’t blame her.

That one night in particular, Sarah was just so upset, so damn depressed about her own loneliness that she had decided to go out instead of staying in. She had walked around the town under a light drizzle for a while before heading to the mall. She had considered watching a movie, but hadn’t been interested in any. She’d also wandered into a small bookstore. She’d spent a good hour and half checking out new titles and making a mental list of the ones that caught her eye the most. Eventually, she had just wandered into a café and bought herself a latte and a brownie, which she ate slowly and thankfully. It was nice having a few hours to relax. Her week had been long, exhausting and stressing. Her school work and her protettore training had taken most of her energy and had left her longing for the weekend to arrive. Problem was that, now that it actually had come… well, she was clueless as to what she wanted to do.

Well, darn.

Once Sarah finished her latte, she checked her watch. Eight o’clock. It was still early. She sighed her frustration and let a frown appear on her face. Going home right now was a huge ‘NO’. If she was to go home, she’d have to lock herself in her room and let her mind be plagued by flashbacks of those precious days she’d never have again. She didn’t think she could stand it, not now. But, she had nothing to do.

It sucked.

With nothing left to do, a slow sigh escaped her lips as she stood up and went to the counter to buy yet another latte and more brownies. Perhaps all she needed was a sugar rush; that would surely cheer her up. Once she got her coffee and her brownies, she headed back to her table… and found that it had been occupied in the fraction of time that she’d been gone. Sarah sighed deeply and stared around her. All of the other tables were occupied but this one, the one that she’d been sitting at, was only occupied by one person. The stranger had his back turned on her, and seemed to be lost in his thoughts. If she was to try and share the table with him… well, that was sure to be awkward. She thought of taking her order home…

… But, she wasn’t in the mood.

Instead of that, she walked up to the stranger and tapped his shoulder lightly.

“Uhm, excuse me? Do you mind if I take a seat?”

* * * * * * * * * *

words: 906

tag: Taylor Harper

muse: "Nothing Left to Say" - Imagine Dragons

notes: First time EVER I do a post template O:

[Taylor Harper]

Taylor Harper stood there, his hands in his trouser pockets, staring at a young lady sitting in a booth inside a coffee shop looking to enjoy a java and brownie. He was leaning nonchalant, on a pillar which concealed a steel I-beam that was part of the support structure to the mall he was in. Taylor had just now put away the sunglasses that hid his eyes and helped to conceal him from detection. Not much of a disguise, really. But they served the purpose of keeping those around him from noticing him staring at the teen he'd been following. He knew he had to be careful, since in this day and age, he could be mistaken for a stalker or worse.

At first he stayed well out of sight. He walked a fair distance behind, and did his best to be within a group of others people so he had ample time to avoid his sister if she happen to look in his direction. He knew now he didn't need the precaution. His sister seemed to be in such a distracted state that he felt he could have just walked three feet behind her this whole time and have gone unnoticed. How careless. Taylor may have walked away then, knowing she was physically okay, but the fact she was so distracted... looked so sad... He couldn't. If he'd known, her would have come sooner. He was just so busy with his training. His hunter team mate, kept him up to date on Sara and Eleanor by keeping watch so Taylor would not be distracted, but it seems Taylor had dropped the ball. He was informed, not too long ago by Jack, that was keeping tabs on his sister, that Sarah's routine had changed. She'd left the home she shared with their Aunt in contrast with her usual ritual of sitting in on Fridays. Taylor had left home months back, but he never abandoned his precious little sister. That he could never do, so he dropped what he was doing and rushed out to make sure everything was okay.

How long had she been like this? His brow furrowed. He should have called. Given sis his number. Something. But he did not want her tracking him down and discovering what he was doing. Taylor sighed. Why can't you move on, Sarah-bee. Why must you continue this crusade. Just let it go. Have a normal life! he thought to himself.
She was all he had left, since their parents murder. But he just could not sit under the same roof with her and his Aunt Eleanor any longer. He was at odds with them in the choices they made. Taylor wanted nothing to do with the protettores organization which he blames for facilitating the death of his parents. The fact that his Aunt was a staunch supporter who encouraged his little sisters desire to follow in the footsteps of their parents was too much. Finding out sis had started training behind his back was the last straw.

All they ever did any more was argue. He couldn't believe how stubborn his sister was being. He blamed himself. He felt he was pushing her into the path of the protettore by being so against it. Taylor figured that if he left, there would be no one for his little sis to push back against, and maybe...Just maybe, Sarah would calm and see things differently. Maybe she would have time to truly think things over and see that he was right. He shook his head then. That was just one of two reasons. The other was the dark secret he was keeping. The fact that the desire for vengeance had consumed him and that he decided to join the hunters to kill those supernatural things which he so hated. He despised lying to Sarah. He'd never ever lied to her before and the guilt of it was killing him, since every day he had to look his sister in the eyes and say nothing. His relationship with his younger sister was that of best friends. There was a time when they could talk about anything and everything without restrictions. Nothing was too personal or awkward. It was just the way it was. That ended when he decided that he would join the hunters and start his own training, even before he found out about Sarah.

It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Now he knew he'd made a monumental mistake. His vision focus on Sarah once more as she stirred. He saw her stand and made ready to follow her again. He needed to talk to her, but how? Just call out her name when she came out of the shop?. The opportunity presented itself rather quickly when he saw her return to the sales counter to place another order. The place was packed. The only table available was where she'd sat a moment ago. He pushed off from the pillar and entered the shop. He took a seat in the booth she had vacated, his back to her. Then he waited. Minutes later, a tap on she shoulder and a familiar voice told him she'd returned.

"No. Not at all. In fact, I'd like it very much if you would join me." Taylor answered in smooth tone. He turned his head and eyes to look up at his sister. As his eyes met hers he tensed, ready to snag her hand if she tried to turn tail and leave. "Please, Sarah." he coaxed as he stood slowly and extended his arm in invitation, gesturing at the vacant seat across the table from him.[/font][/font]

[Sarah Harper]

WHO KNOWS HOW LONG I'VE BEEN AWAKE NOW



{the shadows on my wall don't sleep}


* * * * * * * * * *

It was funny how arguments started.

It was funny because it never seemed to make any sense, or because how easily they grew, to the point where it was just too easy to forget why one started arguing, in the first place. But, if there was anything to be admired about arguments, was how easily they could start. A small spark could turn into a fire, and if the fire grew out of control, then… well. In the end, the damages were hard to repair, the burns hard to heal. And in the end, it all just ended up sucking.

As far as she knew, everything was, first and foremost, a matter of perspective.

Sarah had turned the subject over and over in her head, ever since Taylor left. It wasn’t about who was right and who was wrong, it was about the way they saw things differently. Two people could share a point of view, and agree completely on it, or they could twist it into the point where it could, with the trigger, become a reason to argue. She thought she had the right to choose her own path in life, whereas her brother thought that she was actually just throwing away her life… literally. Her own point of view was that she was doing something that would have made her parents proud, had they been around to see her ascending from her training into becoming a full-fledged Protettore. Taylor’s point of view was that they would never know if their parents would be proud of her or not, because they’d been killed, and she was just going down the same way… or, at least, so she thought. It was hard to tell what her brother was thinking. He’d grown into a very hard person to understand.

Altogether, she’d just stopped knowing him, it seemed.

But how, how could it become so increasingly hard to understand a person that she had been supposed to know like the back of her hand? Because, that was how it was supposed to be. She remembered tagging along to anything and everything her brother suggested doing, whether it was watching The Godfather, or attempting to climb up trees, or whatever little adventure he’d suggest. It was simple, like breathing. It was easy, just like falling asleep… and then, suddenly, it wasn’t? That was damn messed up. It’s easier when you’re a kid, she thought, darkly, as she waited for her order to be ready and drummed her fingers into the small, Formica topped counter. When you grow up, people start to become more and more complex.

Right?

Well, it was true. Or, at least, so she thought. Kids were happy – they could simply become friends with the first kid who came up to them and asked, do you want to be friends?. Kids had simple fears – the darkness, spiders, that ugly man in the clown costume at the circus. But then you grow up, and… well. When you grow up, everything just becomes freaking twisted, she thought again. Friends could backstab you. The scariest thing ever is no longer that weird bug on the window, it was having the people you know die, or leave you.

We are talking about all kids in general, right? said a voice in the back of her head, Not just you?

“Oh, shut up,”she muttered, and earned a stare and a pair of raised eyebrows from the guy who finally handed her a new cup of coffee and more brownies. “Sorry,” she mumbled, in embarrassment as she walked back to her table, noticed it was taken, and asked the guy there if she could take the—

Oh. Oh, God…

Darn it.

Taylor.

“… What?”she asked, stupidly, upon her brother’s request that she join him. No. Hell f-ck no. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. Because, what were the freaking odds that, after devoting a large portion of her Friday thinking about her big brother, and how much she missed him and half-resented him for walking out on her and her aunt, he just popped out of nowhere? How long had he even been nearby, anyway? Had he seen her walk up to the counter, or was he as surprised as she was? She highly doubted it, and if he was, then… well, he was damn good at hiding it. She wasn’t good at hiding her feelings, though, and she could actually feel the shock, the surprise twisting her features into the unnerved expression that she now wore.

But, she couldn’t get any of that out. Words just… failed her.

“T—yeah… sure, I will,” she mumbled, and moved to sit in front of him. She kept her gaze lowered, thinking of what to say to him. What do you say to a person that you haven’t seen in a long time? She literally had no idea. If only they’d talked on the phone, by Facebook, or… anything, really, then she’d probably not feel as awkward about the strange meeting. In the end, she gave out a slight sigh, and stared up at him, into his eyes. Suddenly, she feared his gaze—it almost felt as though he was gazing through her skull and into her brain, into the deepest of her thoughts. That fear had begun eating at her at the moment that she started her Protettore training—it had reached its peak at the moment when he found out. It had just felt as though he’d been reading her mind the whole time.

“So…” she finally said, loud enough to let him hear her, “how have you been, Taylor?” she asked, her voice tense.

* * * * * * * * * *

words: 941

tag: Taylor Harper

muse: "Nothing Left to Say" - Imagine Dragons

notes: This took way too long and I' sorry :C

[Taylor Harper]

His sister hesitated, and Taylor tensed. Sara sounded confused when the sole word she uttered was "what?" and they seemed to stare at each other for what felt like hours. He could only guess as to what was going through her mind. Taylor thought about what he would do if she turned her back on him. If Taylor grabbed her, and she resisted and shouted, things could get ugly for him. He knew now that she had every right to. It took him until this pivotal moment to realize that he'd made a mistake. Taylor should have contacted her. Maybe just a weekly phone call... something. A whole range of emotions crossed her features in those few seconds that seemed endless and Taylor almost squirmed under the scrutiny.

Suddenly she seemed to come to a decision and mumbled something he couldn't hear over the murmur of the patrons around them. His sister looked away, her eyes downcast. He almost flinched to catch her if she turned to walk or run away, but instead she took the few steps towards the opposing bench, and sat. Taylor visibly relaxed and his tensed muscles released as he eased back into his seat. Taylor kept his gaze on his sister, even as he slowly put his elbows on the table and folded his hands together not knowing what else to do with them. It had been too long. He'd become so wrapped up in his training that he did not realize how much time had passed. How much he missed her. Before he left, he'd never been away from his sister for more than a few days to a week at the most. And only because the boy scouts had a strict policy against girls attending camping or other events where it would require lodging with the boys, even if she had her own separate accommodations. Other than that, he never said no if she wanted to tag along. In fact, they seemed to be attached at the hip in their youth. Always together.

Her eyes came up suddenly and locked onto his. Taylor had prepared himself for that gaze, or so he thought. He expected irritation, anguish, condemnation, betrayal. He expected all sorts of things there, maybe even hatred. He knew he'd not abandoned her or his Aunt, but Sara did not know this. Taylor was sure that she knew nothing of the surveillance. The daily reports. The favors he asked and would some day have to repay. What he saw, however, fractured his heart. Fear?... Why fear? Why was she afraid of him.? The seconds again seemed painfully long, as if God was changing the laws of physics, stretching out every second to punish him. His own gaze almost faltered before she finally asked him how he'd been. Her voice was tense. It was Taylor now who hesitated. He'd been so sure of himself until now.

It was Taylor's turn to look away. He stared at his folded hands for a moment. His well tailored sleeves not looking the least stressed as would an ill fitting shirt. He always dressed well. Took pride in his appearance. Father had always said that that mans dress and appearance made the person. It reflected upon his whole family's stature. He'd taken this to heart after his father's death.

"I am well." he said after a pause, stopping himself from saying "little sister". he did not want her to be cross at him for being so familiar after almost a year of hiatus. He wished they could just pick up the conversation like no time had passed between them. Everything he'd planned on saying before, no longer seemed right. Not after what he saw in her features, and then her eyes. How did things get this bad? His folded hands tightened in frustration. His lips tightened into a line. 'No, I cant loose her. It has always been the two of us.' With their parents gone, all they had was each other. His hands relaxed Taylor decided it was time to come clean. No more lies. No more misinformation. His plan had failed. It was clear to him that she'd chosen her path, as he'd chosen his. The only difference was that he knew all about her choices. She knew nothing of his. Or did she?... Is that why she feared?... Did she already know? Either way, there was just one thing he could say. One thing he'd wanted to say for a long time. Not just for walking out, but for everything. His lips relaxed and he sighed. "Sarah...I'm sorry." he said, his eyes came back up to hers. Taylor would have continued, but he knew his sister. He must wait and let her have her say. One step at a time. Just rambling on would make them compete to get their words in. Their voices would rise. He was not here to argue. He was here to fix this mess he'd created. To make amends.

[Sarah Harper]

WHO KNOWS HOW LONG I'VE BEEN AWAKE NOW





{the shadows on my wall don't sleep}


* * * * * * * * * *

As Sarah moved to sit in front of Taylor, she remained silent, her lips lightly pursed. She couldn’t help but wonder what the scene would look like to any random bystander who happened to look their way. God, if any of their acquaintances happened to spot them… well, that was sure to be awkward. Luckily, it didn’t happen. Sarah had never found a way to explain why she had suddenly stopped hanging out with her brother – her friends had been slightly curious about it, and when they asked, all she’d managed to tell them was that he was ‘away’ and that he’d be back soon… and, as the months passed, and the more she refused to talk about it, her friends slowly learned to leave the subject alone. There was no one to talk about it, really. The only person with whom she wanted to discuss Taylor’s leaving, was Taylor. But, of course, that would never happen, or so she’d thought.

Until now.

So, this was what an out of body experience felt like, huh?

It seemed that way. Almost as though her mind and her body were placed in different planes of existence, as though she was watching the whole thing from afar… and still, she was conscious of absolutely every single movement she made, every breath, everything. It felt unnatural, strange, dizzying. And yet, she knew that everything – this conversation, this moment – were completely and undoubtedly real. She knew it, she just… knew it, and at the same time, she was still fighting this mighty need to reach down and pinch her arm. Just to make sure that she wasn’t… dreaming, or something.

What now? What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act? How was one supposed to act in presence of an estranged sibling after almost a year of having virtually no contact? Sarah hadn’t spoken to her brother for almost a year. There was a gap between them, a gap that should have been fixed, that could have been fixed, if only both of them weren’t so… damn stubborn. But now it was way too late. So very much, in fact that she was having a hard time trying to form a reaction to the whole situation. Part of her was on edge, fearful, tense. Another part was mad at him for his absence.

The other part was just ashamed of what impression she might be creating in Taylor’s mind.

She figured she was probably making him worried. The past months had left dark circles under her eyes after spending countless nights awake, wondering what her brother might be up to and if he was alright, she’d taken on the habit of biting at her fingernails, which now looked damaged and ragged; she had thrown on an simple t-shirt, old jeans and faded black sneakers; her dark hair was tied messily into a bun at the back of her head… altogether, not a very pleasant first impression. She suddenly felt bad about that. She’d promised herself that she’d pull through her parents dying, but had been unable to pull through Taylor’s sudden walking out on her; it was obvious, and she hated the fact that she couldn't hide it. The last thing that her brother needed was to worry about her…

Which… he doesn’t.

Not really, right? The sudden thought brought a light frown into her features, and she had to look away again. Taylor finally answered her question. He seemed to be doing fine, and he said so, almost formally, in a tone that she normally associated with the meeting with a complete stranger. It felt… odd, almost wrong. Almost as though he was trying to convince himself as well as her. But no, that couldn’t be. How could he not be okay? She’d always just assumed he was doing great. After all, he hadn’t called, hadn’t sent any letters, hadn’t talked to her online, nothing. She remembered thinking he was busy with his own affairs, too busy doing something… something more important than looking after her.

If he actually worried, he would have at least made contact, or…

Or anything, really. But he hadn’t done so, had he?

“You are sorry?” she repeated, incredulous, finally letting her gaze lock with his again. An almost irritated gaze, that was: irritated, tense, and also rather dull. “Do you have any idea…?”she muttered, through gritted teeth and a voice that was on the verge of breaking, “Do you even imagine what it was like…? Not hearing anything from you all this time? ‘Cuz it… it’s the most horrible thing…”she said, a little bit louder, loud enough for him to hear her, yet not loud enough to draw any attention to them. Her eyes burned with tears that begged to be spilled, yet she managed to pull herself together. “I was worried sick, Taylor, I… I kept wondering if you were freaking alright and if you’d ever come back… and you didn’t… I e-mailed you a thousand times, tried to reach you on your stupid cellphone, and nothing… so I just… I…” she said. A hand flew up to cover her mouth as the tears finally slipped and spilled down her cheeks, leaving salty traces on her face.

“Sorry means nothing. Saying ‘sorry’ won’t… it won’t fix all of this stupid crap, it just…”she sort-of-snapped, before her tears finally robbed her ability to speak. Normally, she would have watched her language a little bit more thoroughly, but right now, she wasn’t in the right mood to give a damn about her language. She wanted him to hear her frustration, her anger… her pain.

Before you walk away again.

* * * * * * * * * *

words: 945

tag: Taylor Harper

muse: "Nothing Left to Say" - Imagine Dragons

notes: First post of the yearrrr.

[Taylor Harper]

Her first words mocking his apology he expected. The irritated voice and almost glare, welcomed. What came after, however.... The words through gritted teeth in accusation, the ones that since uttered so low sounded as if she was growling at him. "Do you have any idea", those almost raised his hackles. If it were anyone else, he would have stopped them cold and retorted, but he did not. This was his kid sister, for one. And as she continued he was glad he did not give in to that knee-jerk reaction. As Sarah layed into him, He saw her as if for the first time telling her how she missed him and the hell she'd been through, he no longer just gazed or stared. He studied her every feature as she poured her heart out to him His mouth popped open and just hung that way. His face paled as he took in, not just her words, but her appearance.

Taylor saw she was a mess. Dark circles around her eyes. Her hair un-kept. Tears welling in her eyes forced him to look away from her face. He noticed her clothes. While she was not into business or formal wear as he was, she was a girl. She always made sure to dress well. Perfectly ironed and matching outfits and all. She was always cute. In fact, Taylor was always flustered when she would dress too cute. He could not bare the thought of some bloke taking her from him. Demanding her attention and limiting the time they spent together.
Sarah went into how she tried to contact him vigorously, and his eyes widened. His mouth clamping shut. This was news to him. He didn't know about any of that. His phone was confiscated by the hunters when he began to train. They said he was not allowed distractions while undergoing the program. He always got his phone back at night after training hours, but there were no messages or e-mails. He figured Sarah was just angry with him for leaving and was sulking. He'd just put it out of his mind as her being stubborn and insisting he call her first. He figured if she really needed something, or if she was in trouble, she would contact him. He convinced himself that contacting her first would be a mistake. That she would be fine once she calmed and had time to think about things as he first planned. But that was not totally true. He did not convince himself. He had help. His so-called team mate and mentor.... 'Jack! your son of a bitch!!!' Taylor cursed in his mind. His phone was being screened. His calls and messages were being erased!. However, anger was beyond him at the moment.
Sarah's hand flew up to cover her mouth and his eyes followed it back to his sister's face. He noticed her nails before his eyes settled back on hers, they were a mess. Before he left he remembered she prided herself on her self-taught skill in manicures and pedicures. French tips, partials, she could do it all. Then his heart almost stopped as he felt a the stab of pain there. Tears flowed from his kid sister's eyes. 'God, what have I done' he thought and almost vocalized as his lips once again parted and he looked to gawk. Taylor was speechless. He'd caused her so much pain, while he fooled and insulated himself from the same heartache she's suffered. Taylor's whole day was training and sleep. He really did not have time to let his things sink in this whole time. He'd been absorbed in his training. Not letting himself think of anything else while he could avoid it. No contact from home meant all was well. That his absence was not missed all that much. That they could live without him.
What a fool he has been. His precious little sister being kept safe was not enough. It should never have been enough. Shame marred his features. His forehead brows creased in realization. Then she dealt him a killing blow.
“Sorry means nothing. Saying ‘sorry’ won’t… it won’t fix all of this stupid crap, it just…” Rang in Taylor's ears. Echoing to punish him again and again. The realization that his sister thought he had abandoned her... It was more than he could handle. The world seemed to stop for him. He cringed in pain, feeling as if a hot poker fresh from the fires of a forge and glowing red hot was slowly pushed into his chest and through his heart, left there to singe the flesh. The picture the sensation, looking as a third party in his mind, he could hear and see the flesh sizzling and popping. Smell the stench of charred flesh. 'What have I done....' He asked himself once more, fighting the urge to cover his face with his hands. However, this was not the time to hide. He had to make amends somehow.

Taylor quickly stood. He looked to stumble, his legs almost giving way to the grief of the moment, as he swung around the table to Sarah's side of the booth. He reached for her, looking to embrace her in a hug. He did not give Sarah an opportunity to stop or repel him outright. Taylor was aware of his surroundings but did not care of what anyone would think, say, or do. He just had to hold her. For his won sanity more than Anything. She could pry herself from him after. Strike him, curse him to hell, spit at him, it did not matter. The space between them would kill him otherwise. She needed him, and he needed her. This he was sure of.

"Sarah-bee, I did not know." He whispered in her ear while he held her tight. "I swear that I did not know. I thought you were angry. Thought I was doing you a favor by not contacting you. That bastard Jack was supposed to be watching. He was supposed to tell me if you were in any distress or danger. He said you were doing fine. I never thought he would betray me and erase my messages and phone calls. Oh God, Little sister, I didn't know. I.... didin't" Taylor said in a low voice that cracked at the end. Would she believe him? He had no way of proving anything. 'Please, Sarah. Please believe me'

There was nothing more he could say. His own body was racked by an almost silent sob as he cried into her hair. If he was capable of speech, he would be begging her forgiveness. All he could do was hold her. Hold on to the only thing in this world that was precious to him. Hold on and pray she did not deny him, though he deserved everything and anything she would dish out. He redyed himself to he repulsed. He would not fight her if she pushed him away. He had no right.

The hush of the crowd told him unwanted attention had been drawn to them. win, loose, or draw, they needed to get our of this public venue and somewhere more private to talk. The problem was, that while he knew this, and his mind was capable of forming a plan due to his training. He just did not care about that right now.
Let them stare