Guns and Roses [O]

[Leonardo K. Mattias]

As the sounds of the door slid open and closed briefly, Leon shut his eyes trying to gather up what thoughts he could. He had to make it fluid- had to speak as though everything was alright. Just the very thought of doing so was enough to suddenly caused a ridiculous amount of anxiety to rush up into him, and before he could do anything, yet more fresh tears came to the surface. Godamnit he mentally swore wishing there was something he could do to backtrack the rolling emotion that was cascading down a hill. If he had been in a more stable state of mine, he might have found it ironic that his choice of swearing came in the form of a higher power that he had thought about trying to access just seconds before as he found Gwen to be alright. However, as it was, his thoughts were swimming, and the humor was lost on him.

The door opened up again quickly enough, and the brown haired man looked sideways and managing just a brief curl of lips as Gwen stated his name. It lasted for less than a second before his face fell a little unable to keep the motion for long though whether this was from the experience or the drugs he was on he couldn't tell. Pain medication was nice but didn't do him justice. "Hey," he managed out still finding his voice obscurely hoarse. Her fingers had found his, and Leon's gaze drifted briefly to focus on that for a moment. It was only then that he realized she could see those damn tears and that they were out in the open and ... damn it that wasn't a Mattias thing to do but...he couldn't even stop things that had already escaped as it were.

As Gwen's own fresh tears came, Leon bit back words that threatened to come to the surface. He wanted to say how scared he'd been and how he didn't know what was going to happen now. They were silly thoughts, and he knew that, but they were threatening to come out anyways. However, that wasn't what he had called her in for and knew it. Weakly raising the hand she had taken up- thankfully it belonged to the shoulder that hadn't been injured which minimized any retaliation from his nerves- he set the hand on the side of her face.

"Gwendolyn... I'm glad you're safe..." were the first things that he allowed to slip from his lips. His voice had dropped down to a near whisper as he said it mostly to avoid the snapping of his own vocals like twigs. "Sono così contento che non erano feriti.." (I'm so glad you weren't hurt) he murmured on butchering a little Italian verse as he did so. "Avevo paura di perdere..." (I was scared of losing you) he stumbled onwards his words sounding less methodical in nature and instead more strained.

For that brief moment, captivated by the memorizing pain medication and the dazed awareness that he had nearly died, Leonardo set down every fake emotion. Every facade he hid behind, and every dust storm he kicked up in order to obscure his own emotions was let down, and he admitted things he normally hated to speak out loud. They were signs of weakness- a sign of a tender heart that Mitchel didn't tolerate in one form or another. It was not the Mattias way. It was not the way things had been planned out to be. It was wrong. He knew that and hated it. The Mattias way was right. Use everything and everyone at your disposal and alliances were not mandatory. As long as there wasn't too much damage, it was always fine. However, one wasn't allowed to break from the flow- the contour of a picture that Leon had only haphazardly seen. It was wrong to let these emotions come to the surface. However, iin that moment, he could do no better than to speak what was on his mind.

[Gwendolyn D. Mattias]

Gwendolyn closed her eyes at the feel of his warm hand on her cheek. She put her hand on his to keep his hand there, scared he would removed it.

As Leonardo spoke, Gwendolyn's mind absorbed each word. A part of her was happy that she had her brother back from the grips of the Mattias “conditioning” which was the combination of expected behaviors, appearances and thinkings that shaped the identity of what a Mattias was supposed to be. She understood why it was necessary, but not why it applied to members of the family themselves. Even if just for the moment, she had the normality which she'd craved all this time, even if it was just the one member of her family. Leo would always be her favorite, for reasons she had yet to understand.

Gwen always strived to get his approval first and foremost, only second to their father. He was the only one who didn't keep a wall, so to speak between them. Gwen understood him and why he wore the mantle of Mattias so well. Her mother and other brothers seemed to keep her at arms length. Not that they would admit to it, and not that Gwen could explain exactly how she came to that conclusion, it was just the way she perceived things, if that made any sense. Leonardo drifted away as he got older, yet Gwendolyn still knew he was different. More like her father and less like her mother.

Another part of her that was the “Here and now” consciousness that processed things in a different matter all together. As smart as Gwendolyn was, she was still just 12 years old. There were things she was just incapable of understanding. It was the part that was the rest of the world in which Gwendolyn lived and rationalized things beyond her comprehension banishing and locking away memories and experiences selectively. It was a defense mechanism that allowed her to function through the things she didn't understand like the horrors she endured recently. There was just so much she didn't understand, and probably never would.

What she did understand was that Gwen saw her brother again taking full responsibility for her after the attack on them. He was laying himself bare to her, and she felt that he was just as confused as she was. Everything he was saying was what she wanted to say to him first. >But why?< the suddenly found herself asking. It was something her mother said that bothered her.

This was her fault after all.

Something in her snapped. Her world stopped. Her brown eyes stared at her brothers equally brown orbs, yet she was looking through him, not at him. Her smile vanished replaced with the thousand yard stare and her forehead creased as her mind settled on what should have been obvious all along. Her mother's words echoed in her head “My son could have died because of you.” and her mind put all the events together. Nadia was right. >>It's all my fault... It was me who insisted on coming along. It was me who dragged him into that restaurant. It was me he was trying to protect when he was shot.... It was me... It was all- my- fault. << She said to herself as she came to the realization.

>>Apologize Mongrel!<< she heard a voice in her head say >>Apologize and beg his forgiveness!<<

Her forehead creased as her facial features turned to one of hurt. Tears started to flow unabated. She gripped his hand and started to sob as she let it all out.

"I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm glad you're safe too, but its all my fault. Can't you see that?. If I hadn't made you take me with you or made you go into that stupid restaurant...” She shook her head and buried her face in the bed next to him.
“I swear I don't know why that vampire was mad at us. All I wanted was for us to spend some time together. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you. It's all my fault. Ti amo, Le' (I love you Le') please don't hate me too." She sobbed. “I... just want to be real” She said in a choked voice.
The doctor who was standing at the door shook his head with a huff. “Nadia” he growled and walked out of the room closing the door behind him

[Leonardo K. Mattias]

If he had been in a better state of mind, Leon might have recognized the shift in his sister's demeanor all too clear. It was the expression of realization in one form or another, and he had seen it on plenty of people's faces when he had revealed his informational game with them. However, through the clouds of his own thoughts and medications, all he could reason out was something was wrong. A brief anxiety jumped into Leon- a mix of fear and uncertainty that read out on his heart monitor as Leon tried to process what was wrong. Was there some sort of threat? No they were ... were somewhere safe. He'd just seen the doctor, so he was either at home or the hospital-- probably the prior. Then what was going on?

Suddenly she was crying, and that just made it worse. Leon's hand tightened a little as though at any moment she might pull herself away and leave him there. As the words began to spill out into the air, Leo fought to grasp hold of what she was saying between those strangled sobs and his own confusion. It was her fault? What? Understanding only hit him as Gwen buried her face in the bed. Brown eyes traveled upwards and regarded the ceiling for a moment as Leon took that thought in. She had been the one to suggest the restaurant. She was the one that had prodded him into going. The vampire had got into the restaurant and there had been no way to get away quick enough because they were in a closed area. If they hadn't gone in, things might have been different. Yes, it was possible.

Leon's thoughts were cut when Gwen started speaking again. That was the question of the day wasn't it? Why the hell had that damn blood sucker been in there to begin with? Suddenly Leon's eyes grew as he realized that he had left Lucia there by herself. He wondered if she had managed to get away and get back home. No, she had to have... She couldn't have been hurt or anything. She was a servant of the Mattias family after all! Still now he was left to worry and wonder, and with each moment, something in him ticked. He had left some of his own people in the line of fire. They were his men - his servants, and he had just let them deal with it and gone running with Gwen. It was a sickening thought- something that he would refuse to process on a normal day least it make him actually feel -because such sympathies were not good for a Matias, yet right then and there, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He wanted to know where Lucia was. He wanted to know what had happened to Guido and if he was alright.

All this internal strife was cut short as Gwen changed languages. Possibly because he was just more comfortable with Italian, he came back to it, and his eyes slid to Gwen's form. She asked him not to hate her, and Leon's breath caught. For a few seconds, all thoughts were negated, and the world felt slow. Leon didn't know how to begin to address those words that followed into the air, and a part of him wasn't even sure that he had heard them right. Did... did she not understand? Did she not know that she could have died? Why was she saying this when ... Leon was tripping over his thoughts as a part of himself tried to be rational. She had said it was her fault. They had been in the restaurant because of her. He had been shot because they were in that restaurant. He should have been angry that they had walked in there in the first place. She had put him in danger.

But at that moment... all he wanted was for her to stop crying. He wanted to tell her that it was alright, that he didn't hate her. He didn't hate her for anything even ... for the more painful parts. Memories of what her very birth had done to the family threatened to breach Leon's mind, but he effortlessly threw them back. She was crying... and she was his .. his sister. Someone had made his sister cry, and he wanted to get up right then and there and punch the damn person who did it to the ground. Not even his servants would get that satisfaction. It would be his alone. But...the person she was crying for was... him. He was making her cry just by being there. For a few seconds, Leon fought with himself. His mind made plays on his pride, and he was left dealing with them. However, slowly but surely, he forced himself up with resolution despite the pain in his shoulder. Tugging at Gwendolyn's shoulder, he made to pull her close as he could feeling all the tendrils of muscle scream at him in the process.

"Hushhhh..." he murmured after a moment. "A Mattias doesn't hate things that are his...and you're my little sister, Gwen," Leon chuckled dryly feeling his shoulder muscles seize up a little at their motions. Despite the many quotes their father had spurted off in the years, Mitchel had never uttered this one in the presence of his children. It was Leo's own in a moment of witty word play that probably could have been said better.

[Gwendolyn D. Mattias]

Gwen shivered in fear at the tightening of Leo's hand at her cheek when she told him it was all her fault. Mistaking it for anger, she dove into the words she so desperately had to say. All the while she could see him in her mind. See his angry face and and accusing stare telling her that it was indeed her fault. “I shall never forgive you” echoed in Gwens head, and she realized that the other voice before who called her a mongrel was also her mother.

Her heart all but stopped as she felt him shift in the bed. A hand on her shoulder made her shiver again as he imagined him pushing her away. >No,please...< she almost whimpered but kept it in her head. She deserved it anyhow. She offered no resistance. The hand tugged at her instead and she looked up at the eyes looking down at hers. She saw the pain of exertion there and used her free hand to help herself up.
His hand left her face, and again she offered no resistance. She helped him bring her closer, Her expression puzzled. Leonardo embraced her and she sat next to him, slowly and gently snaking her own arms around him..

He hushed her,and she felt herself quieting and calming. It was an involuntary response. Almost as if her father had given an oder. As if she had no choice but to comply. He spoke words, but it was like hearing an alien language for the first time. It just didn't register. “A Mattias doesn't hate things that are his.. and you're my little sister” Echoed in her head. Gwendolyn pulled away slightly, her eyes widening. Her breath catching as the words slowly registered. “But...” She gently rested her head on his chest.

“Mommy said I wasn't....really.” She whispered, another shiver rocking her. Her chest felt tight and she mentally cringed. She wished she never asked. She should have just kept her mouth shut. She'd waited her whole life to hear those words from her brothers. Especially Leonardo. “You're my little sister” instead of just replacing “Sister” for saying her name which was just a formality. She closed her eyes and more locked away memories surfaced.

How many times had she told her brothers and mother that she loved them, only to receive a smile and maybe a pat on the head and the rare hug. She honestly couldn't remember anyone saying the words without her initiating it first. They would just say “me too, or as do I” or other indirect way back to her. Only her father initiated when she was little, and even he rarely said it now that she was older. Eventually she'd stopped initiating herself, accepting that it was just “what Mattias did”.

Her heart ached and her head hurt. She pushed those thoughts back down and the pains eased.

[Leonardo K. Mattias]

Leon wouldn't begin to describe how ridiculously exhausting that single motion was. It was as if his entire body was heavy- not just his shoulder. Whether it was backlash from the adrenaline that had driven him all but crazy hours before or whether it was because he was all too aware of the damage that wasn't healing as quickly as it should have been, Leon didn't know. Either way, he did know what it felt like, and a part of him just wanted to flop back down on the bed- despite what compression would do for his shoulder- and not move for a while. He wouldn't do that just yet, though.

Even as the seconds ticked by after his words, Leon didn't move. What he was waiting for, he didn't really know. A part of him was already starting to deflate as it was playing with ideas to just completely lay back down again. However, something was keeping him up in that moment, and he would bow to whatever it was for now. As Gwen pulled away just a bit, Leon's eyes refocused on her. The words that spilled out into the air after that viciously killed something in Leon. The echos of an internal wail, far from angry or outraged so much as a reflection of pain and suffering, vibrated inside, and biting the inside of his mouth was all Leon could do to keep words from spilling out unnecessarily.

Gwendolyn had been a family secret. She was the thing that his father covered up in order to maintain his forsaken status quo. She was the thing that still silently divided their parents to this day, and Leon knew it. It was why he kept barriers up. It was why he locked what feelings he had away. It was why he struggled so hard to be the perfect Mattias in the family- so that both his parents could be proud of his flawlessness. Being the perfect son, the man who didn't do anything wrong, was so important. It was what made being a Mattias so important. All else didn't matter. He would crush every feeling in him that wasn't for the family or for the name his father loved so much. It was what also the thing that made him resentful. It was the thing that made him angry and harsh towards people lower than himself- the naive sort that annoyed him above all. It was what brought out his carnivorous need to shred people: twisting their words and worlds around on the tips of his fingers. All of this was Gwen's fault.

Or was it?

Leon's mind rolled up to a time before Gwen. He was still striving to be perfect- and still twisting people's arms behind their backs whenever he got the chance. He was to be perfect, popular, and venomous. Even amongst the medications, the emotions, and the cloudy haze before himself, Leon knew that it had come before. Gwen had been a change, certainly, but did Leon really know what sort of change? He realized then that he wasn't sure. His ideas were not absolute, and he was truly unsure. Would he not have developed the way he did now without that injection into his life? Leon didn't know. How ironic it was that such a deep reflection come in the moments when his mind was at its weakest. Maybe he was just finally addressing the things he held back and withdrew from. Who knew.

What Leon knew in that moment was that Gwen had just rebutted him. "Mother is ...an angry person, Gwen," he finally sighed back, a lack luster response despite all that had just gone on in his mind.

[Gwendolyn D. Mattias]

Gwendolyn didn't know it, but turning her eyes away from Leonardo's was the best decision she'd made all day. It saved her from having to see the myriad of emotions play on his face and the fact that he literally bit the inside of his mouth to keep from saying something that would probably have torn her apart. His words after would have been hollow to her, even if they did come from deep thought after the analyzing or his thinking and the basis for his initial reaction and later conclusions.

Her brother spoke after a sigh, and Gwen struggled with the revelation. >Mother is angry with me?< she asked herself. She rolled the words around in her head trying to come to terms with them. Yes, her mother was angry about how Gwen almost got Leo killed. But that was not all. Memories came to her one at a time at first. Her interaction with her family. She focused on the ones with her mother. Her mother smiling and laughing at the cute things she'd done over the years. Her daily interactions with her. She analyzed each occurrence with fresh eyes and what she saw scared her. Images and memories started to cascade across her mind as she searched each one of her experiences. Peripheral views of the smiles fading after Gwen turned away. of the way some of the emotions never reached her mother's eyes. There were few times of genuine joy. How naive she'd been.

Her mother was not an evil woman though. The times when Gwendolyn was hurt, sick or in trouble, her mother showed genuine concern, and never neglected Gwen. >How can mother be angry for so long? What did I do?< she asked, but there were no answers. She searched as far back as she could clearly remember. Back to when she was two and three years old. Nothing stood out as something that would cause a person to be angry for life. She concluded that there was a great veil or curtain that had yet to be lifted. Something was missing from the equation. What was it?

>Why is she angry. What have I done that was so wrong? Why just me?...< Memories of mother stopped. New memories took their place. Her brothers. All three of them. But she already knew something was wrong there. Not anger... just an indifference of sorts. The feeling that she was being kept at arms length. The only constant factor was her father who spoiled her rotten as a child whenever he had the time. He was the only normal one.
>Why is Daddy different?. How come he's not angry like mother.< Or keeping her at arms length like her brothers? Then there was Leonardo... The one who repelled but attracted at the same time. The one that was “different” than the other two brothers.

Why was her family so screwed up?. Her father's voice tried to enter her thoughts with some quote or phrase. Frustrated, She stopped the memories and locked them away. What lurked there was too frightening. A void that threatened to swallow her whole. Where nothing made sense.

Leonardo's rhythmic heartbeat and even breathing soothed her as she struggled to understand. He was the armored knight of the family. The one who would one day take on the mantle the Mattias and as Alpha, lead them into their future. Gwen didn't fully understand why she gravitated to him like she did. He was just.... different somehow. There was a chink in his armor, but only for her. One that she probed whenever she could to find a way inside where she'd longed to be. She shook her head mentally. Somehow that sounded wrong. The word “perverted” rang in her head, but that wasn't it. It only sounded like it was with her lack of how to put her feelings into proper words.

As much as she hated herself for putting him in that bed with those wounds, and yes, it *was* her fault. No one would be able to convince her otherwise. A part of her was also glad. What did the doctor call it?... Shock? She wasn't sure if her own diagnosis had anything to do with his. But she did know that the “chink” in his armor, so to speak, was suddenly a gaping hole, and for the time being he was on equal footing with her. Gwen was no longer outside looking in. She was right there next to him where she'd always wanted to be. How long it would last, she didn't know. Forever if she had any say in it. But she knew it was only temporary.

Still... if just the part of him that saw her as his real sister somehow remained. Even if the armor healed along with his physical wounds... She would be happy.

Gwendolyn tensed. Her breathing and heart rate increased. Leo must know why mother was angry. There had to be something she could do to fix things between them. When did this all happen?

“Why, Le'? Mommy's been angry for so long. I can't remember what I did. How do I say I'm sorry?” She let slip. Her mind racing with questions.

[Leonardo K. Mattias]

To Leonardo, Gwendolyn was a complexity. She had been born at a time in his life where he was old enough to understand all that came with her, but what came with being born the first of the children intertwined and confused the indifferent and even harsh resolutions that gripped his heart towards her. He was her older brother as he was Michelangelo's and Raphael's. Even if she was half, even if she was a mistake on his father's part, Gwendolyn was family, a younger sibling that he was responsible for as the older one. It was this thin chord that strangled what indifference and what hate he possessed. It was what made him not only tolerate her existence but be willing to interact with it. It frustrated him but it was a compulsion greater than him telling him to stay close even when he wanted to get far away. It was arguably his best quality as much as he despised it at times.

Leonardo was tired of reflections. They ripped and tore at every part of him and made him more wounded on the inside than he was on the outside. Skeletons hung amongst the racks of remarkably pure intentions, but it was ironically the pure intentions that he tried to hide the most. Revealing one's heart was not something a Mattias did. The things one liked mattered little. It was the necessary things that were to be done. That was the Mattias way. That was what he strove to be, yet every step forwards felt like one step back to Leon. Life was something he adored and detested for this reason.

As Gwendolyn tensed, Leon involuntarily tensed causing a wretched neural scream from his shoulder. For a few seconds, he physically cringed before the muscles there relaxed leaving a more tolerable pain. He would gladly have tolerated more if it had stopped Gwen's next question. She asked why their mother ... his mother and her adoptive mother... was angry at her. She couldn't remember what she had done; well of course she couldn't. How could she say sorry? There was no way. Leon blanched as his thoughts decided to do a mental flip once more reflecting on things he wished to bury. His father had made it clear never to speak of it. Gwendolyn was never to know what she was in the family. She was to grow up knowing nothing but their immediate family. Speaking on why would be a direct challenge to his father's orders. Leon knew it was even more than that. They had buried the past and dealt with that infuriating woman- the creature that came to their house day in and day out saying she was with his father's child. To bring it up again would only open old wounds. Leon was unwilling to tear the family apart.

But could he lie to her? At the moment the medication was saying no, and Leo didn't know if he wanted to go against that. His lips moved, but no sound came out before he finally stopped and tried to think of what to say. After a moment, he sighed softly, his eyes averting from her completely. "Please... do not ask me.." he mumbled in his more formal English that had been abandoned for a bit. It seemed that as he collected his thoughts again, his speech backtracked once more.

[Gwendolyn D. Mattias]

Gwendolyn's breath caught and her eyes widened, her head still resting on his chest. Was what she did so horrible that it was unspeakable? Half a dozen reasons rushed through her thoughts. The word “Murder” jumped at her. A thought so horrifying she blanched, trembled and literally stopped breathing.

Gwendolyn jumped as if startled, remembering a slap. One of just a handful she'd ever gotten from anyone. This one was from her father. >“That is enough, young lady! There is no shame. There is no regret. There is no pity or second guessing yourself when it comes to the enemy. Not when it affects your Family. To be a Mattias is to be a rock. Un-yielding. Strong. Worn but never broken. There is Family first and foremost. All else is Business. Hard decisions are made for the good of the family and its interests. Family is always first. Remember. Protect your family at all costs. Never forget that.” < He always hugged her after. Even apologizing for being so firm, telling her she would understand in time. She took in a deep breath and resumed breathing. She couldn't even remember why she'd been slapped in the memory. Only that she'd been crying. Upset about something.

>Le's protecting me...< She told herself. But from what? Herself?.. or...>Was that vampire really after.... Me?.< The memory flashed again. The blurred figure. Gun raised. Flash. BANG!. She jumped again as fear gripped her and she squashed the memory immediately. She couldn't think about that now, but the damage was done. Did it have anything to do with the unspeakable thing she'd done? She wanted answers, but Leon told her not to ask. She'd honor his request. She owed him at least that much. She'd already caused him enough anguish.

Letting it all go, the world flooded back into Gwen. The last few minutes replayed in her mind and she cringed mentally, remembering her brother stiffening and tensing in her arms. The pained look. His breath also catching at times. Perhaps a bit of it that was emotions, but the rest she was sure was pain from his wounds. He should be laying down. >Oh, Gods Leo. I'm so sorry. I've been so selfish.<

Gwen pulled herself away from Leo, her arms still around him

“It's ok, Le'. I understand. Please.... You must be under so much pain. Please lay back down” She said not looking him in the eyes, her voice strained while helping support him. There was an almost haunted look to her that was slow to faded. Gwen cursed at herself, remembering the damn bed was adjustable. She reached over with one hand, still supporting Leonardo with the second. Her long hair draping over him as she pressed the button in the headboard to adjust the mattress up to support his back.

Gwen straightened to resume her sitting at he edge of his bed. There was a faint knock at the door. Gwen turned to look in the doors direction.

“Master Mattias. We have dinner for you and Miss Gwendolyn. Doctors orders.” The voice of one of the maids, just barely audible through the sound proof door. Gwen knew they must be yelling for it to be heard in the room. They would wait for the door to be opened from the inside as trained. To barge in would be unthinkable.

[Leonardo K. Mattias]

Gwendolyn's small jump of sorts was enough to cause Leonardo to tense yet again. A part of him feared she'd somehow read his thoughts- something that seemed all too possible right then and there. As she jumped yet again, Leo had to fight down the nerves that wanted to jump yet again. It would only hurt him as it was. He mentally wished it would just stop- that the pain would go away and that he would be able to function again, yet Leon knew it was a foolish thing to wish at all. His wounds would heal on their own time, damn it. For the first time, Leon wondered if this was what it was like for human healing. He had always taken his healing process for granted, but now he was becoming all too aware that he shouldn't have.

As Gwen spoke, Leon's eyes shifted down to her. The request was simple in comparison with what she had asked before, and Leonardo nodded a little. "Alright," he replied. For a brief moment he was about to lay back completely, but Gwen's motions halted him for a moment. The adjustment was made, and only after that did he fully relax against the bed again. His shoulder twitched, and he fought a grimace in response managing to do fairly well despite all things. Brown eyes slid over towards equally brown eyes for a brief moment right before the faint knock caught Leon's acute hearing.

Dinner? Was it really dinner time already? Leon's thoughts scrambled for a time, but he couldn't accurately tell what time it was. Hah, it was funny when he found himself scrounging for the time and not listening to whether he was actually hungry or not. For a few seconds, he was silent. Leonardo wasn't hungry, but the Doc always seemed to know what was best. Frowning, he sighed looking briefly back at Gwen before drawing up more energy to raise his voice. "Come in," he ordered his voice snapping all too quickly after the word 'come' and faltering probably below audibility for the maids. A gruff growl escaped from Leon- more disappointed that his body was taking this all so damn badly that there wasn't much he could do. It irritated him. After a moment, he sighed and looked towards Gwen. "Can you get the door," he finally sighed his face twitching in a somber expression. Oh he hated it.

[Gwendolyn D. Mattias]

The fact that Leonardo couldn't even shout out without a stab of pain made Gwen lower her eyes when he looked at her. She reached out and put her hand on his and nodded, a lump in he throat making it impossible for her to say a simple “okay”. She rose stiffly and walked slowly towards the door.

Was she hungry? Gwendolyn was so numb she couldn't tell. She thought about it as she walked. It was dark out, so it must be a full 24 hours since she'd eaten last. She sighed, thinking about the “death by chocolate” and all those other yummy deserts wasted on the floor of the restaurant. She reached the door and pulled it open. The smell of food hit her and she inhaled deeply suddenly hungrier than she'd ever been before. Her stomach let out a loud rumble, as she smelled something deliciously familiar.

“There is a God, and he's good to me” she proclaimed, a smile returning to her lips. The maids tried to smile, but their smiles faltered. Gwen knew she must look a mess. Then she thought of Leo as one tried to push the cart into the room. Gwen shifted her foot under the wheel and the cart stopped abruptly.
“Oh, how clumsy of me, Miss Gwendolyn. I'm sorry.” The maid said..
“No, it was my fault. Just leave it here. I shall see to my brother and I.” Gwen replied. Her smile widening at the thought of eating. She knew Leonardo when it came to things like this. In his state of mind right now he'd not given it thought, but she knew that if he was 100% he would not want the staff, or anyone really, to see him with tear swollen eyes and in the state he was in.

“I insist, Miss Gwendolyn. I have orders to bring it to him myself” The maid replied and shifted the cart, only to have it stopped again. Gwendolyn glared at her. Her smile now gone. She wasn't stupid. She knew Dr. Giordano would not have them insist after Leo gave orders that only she enter the room. Hunger and fatigue made it so that her anger was more than obvious.

“Perhaps I did not make myself clear enough.” Gwen spoke slowly to mask the growl. Her hands at her hips. “You are dismissed. And tell mother her son is fine. There is no need to send her spies.” Gwen said with a tone that said the conversation was over. The maids looked at each other and bowed apologizing. They backed away and took their leave.

Gwen pulled the cart in the room and closed the door. As she turned it around and looked up at Leo's approving nod, she recalled the Van where She'd exerted her authority as well. She'd had a taste of the Mattias mantle, and she was shocked to find that she liked it.

The cart was made for the bed. It had a low platform with the wheels. The base was not in the middle, but at far end with the tabletop attached so that it slid under the bed while the top positioned right over Leo's lap. Gwen wasted no time sitting on the edge of the bed at Leonardo's feet and quickly lifting the lid off the smaller tray. She knew it was hers just by the smell of the contents. It was simple fare that Leo would probably frown at, but it was one of her favorites. She eyed her two tuna sandwiches, bowl of strawberries, and side of imported muenster cheese with what could only be described as a totally ravenous expression.

Gwen took a bite out of the first sandwich. The tang of the mayonnaise hit her tongue and suddenly she couldn't shovel the food in fast enough. “Oh, this is good” She mumbled around her full mouth. She paused just for a moment to lift the lid from her brother's tray. Not even looking at what was there, before attacking her food again. Sating her hunger had taken we mind off of the days events. As her hunger lessened, her fatigue grew. She found herself yawning continuously and her eyes becoming too heavy to keep open. At some point she succumbed to her exhaustion and curled up at Leonardo's feet and passed out into a deep sleep.

[Leonardo K. Mattias]

Brown eyes drifted over to the door as Gwendolyn opened it, and Leonardo found himself doing his best to focus there despite how trivial it may have been for him to do so. Gwen could handle it, but he still found himself watching regardless. As Gwen made herself a perpetual barrier between the interior of the room and the cart that was trying to move inwards, Leon blinked trying to grasp the reasoning behind it. The perceptive part of himself knew he should have understood why, but Leon simply didn't. As Gwen spoke, a brief smile came and went from Leon's features. She could take care of things- of him at the moment while the doctor was off somewhere. She was a Mattias, after all....

Like a lightning bolt, Leon was slammed again with the reality that she could have died in that restaurant. If he hadn't moved... if he hadn't dome something, she could have been shot. The words of his father rang in Leo's ears, and chewing the inside of his mouth was all he could do to keep calm about the matter. Anxiety was suddenly circulating in him again, but stopping a charging bull would probably have been easier to do right then and there. His fingers twitched trying to find something that should have been there- though what he was even looking for he had no idea. He wanted to get up, wanted to move right then and there. What he would do after, Leon didn't know.

Gwen's words cut through Leon's thoughts, and suddenly his eyes moved back to her again as she asserted control as a Mattias. Her words were crisp to his ears, a key component of speech in the ordering of the world. Some fuzzy part of him was sure she had done something like that before though when or where, he couldn't remember. Little did he realize it was twice in the same twenty-four hour span of time. The fact that she had seen through the intentions as well managed to amuse him. However, as his thoughts moved deeper into the intentions behind it, his features fell somber again. He could only imagine how their mother was at the moment- probably frantic or at least holding it back to appear calm. She was a Mattias as well- though by marriage rather than birth, after all. Why he hadn't called for her first and foremost was debatable to Leon. He was her son; he bowed to her requests. However, at times there didn't even feel like a connection. She was a Mattias, and he was a Mattias. That's all there was to it.

As Gwen turned around, Leon forced up an approving expression- or at least what he hoped was one. With his emotions now playing onto his features, it was hard to hide that there was something else on his mind then and there. As she bought over the cart and then sat at the end of his bed, he shifted just briefly so that he could get at his own food. Briefly he looked at Gwen and noticed her palate. Though some part of him felt the urge to comment, Leon suppressed it and went on to his own food. Pulling off the lid, Leon stared down at his own favorite steak... Though... Leon frowned noting that it was well done rather than the medium rare that he normally had it at. Off to the side was a small note reading "Your liver will not be able to handle the more raw foods right now" that caused Leon to scowl. His liver was fine, damn it. That was one part of himself that he was sure would be fine... Little did he actually realize that the toxin that had the potential to kill him had wrecked a bit of damage on his internal organs as well whether Leon felt it or not. He sighed and decided to eat anyways, fishing up a fork and knife that had come with his tray... only to find every single bone in his body suddenly twitching as his fingers scrambled to hold tight of the knife. No damn it. He could do this. Forcing the motions, Leon cut until his steak with surprising smoothness. It took concentration, but he could do it.

Gwen's words caught Leon's ears, and he looked upwards before smiling as best he could briefly before starting to eat again. Time went on, and Leon ate slowly, carefully, meticulously. As he finished, he looked upwards and found Gwen had already gone to sleep there at the foot of the bed. A brief smile came to him before he sighed leaning back fully against the bed again and staring at the ceiling. He was tired- exhausted even, but wasn't sure if he could sleep. A soft sigh escaped from him. He would try anyways, he supposed. It took a while, but finally he fully rested.

A time passed, though how much, Leon didn't know. However, at some point, the doctor had come back in, looked at a variety of charts to make sure things were alright, and set a blanket over Gwen. After that, he went to make a report to neither Nadia nor Leo but Mitchel Mattias. This would have to be documented thoroughly.

Before morning with rose red fingers finally penetrated the skyline, a flash of adrenaline shot through Leon, and brown eyes flashed open leering into the somewhat darker room. Standing in the corner of the room, Mitchel Mattias watched quietly. As if all too aware of his son's sudden awakening and acknowledgment of something else in the room, Mitchel gave a brief nod of understanding before slowly starting to walk forwards. However, rather than say anything, Mitchel turned and made to open the door. "We shall discuss this later, Leonardo," was all that was said before the man stepped through the door and closed it behind himself. Leo's entire body twitched, and for a few seconds, he had no words. He wanted to say something, wanted to do something, but all he found himself doing was leaning back in the bed and sighing deeply.